Had you not told to not take candy from strangers, the old woman would already be digging into Baked Child Pie.
Without my pink plastic Minnie Mouse lunchbox and matching Thermos, elementary school wouldn’t have been complete.
I am grateful that on Mountain Munchy Fridays, the quarter for my Flinstones push-up ice cream pop came from your pocket … and not mine.
And my wonderful bed, that I have whored my entire life. It’s really yours — afterall, you paid for it.
I am really only borrowing everything you have given me because, some day, I will give it back to you. You may not need the lunchbox at age 84, but you, over there, you will. :) And, the advice on not talking to strangers or taking candy from old, crooked-nosed, warted, black-caped women? I will make sure to pass that advice along.
Take from me what you need to learn, to grow, to become a righteous person. For what we have only becomes worthy once it is given away.
Before I die, I vow to return everything back to you, and you will smile a big smile, because from that lunchbox, I made my first BFF4L; from the orange push-ups, I learned the magnificent treasure of a quarter. From the millions you gave me, I sowed and reaped billions to feed the many trillions.
What I have learned from college, aside from the book stuff, most of which I have forgotten already:
1. Good professors inspire their students to reach beyond their potentials.
2. Brains will take you far, but hard work will take you farther.
3. There’s this thing called, “inspired work.” It comes when you surround yourself with the right people.
4. Ask for help. You’ll get a lot more done, and make good friends along the way too. Then, offer help to others.
5. Do more than just one thing, and do some random things. You’ll have more fun eating a box of assorted Jelly Bellies than a box of all Cherry-flavored ones. And, finding a peanut in the midst of the Jelly Bellies is always amusing.
6. Nothing feels better than reaching your goals.
7. It’s important to slack off too.
8. You know you are comfortable with who you are when you wear baggy sweatpants, an XL t-shirt, no make-up and a messy pony-tail to public places. Sometimes picking out a wedgie in public becomes pretty bland too.
9. You can never get too many manicures and pedicures.
10. Talk to everyone. You’ll meet and bond with people you never would have before.
11. Forever friends are ones you have spent weeks with, without ever arguing or getting annoyed. Instead, you sleep converse, make butt indentions in their carpet from having sat there for too long. And meep. All the time.
12. I’m going to miss UT.
13. Make a baby during your college career, figuratively. Leave a legacy!